I am a creature of routine

I always have been since I was small. I am happier and seem the thrive better when I have things to do.  This could simply be the fact that it keeps boredom away.  But I like feeling useful like I've accomplished something.

I like being able to go "I have A at this time. B at this time & C at this time" and work around that.  I see it as a puzzle or game of sorts.

When I don't have routine, everything else falls to shit.  I have come to this realization.  I understand most of you are going "Why the hell doesn't she use habit instead of routine?"

Well, that's because I like a bit of flexibility with my routines. I like having a basic structure.

Up at 9am
Restroom
Breakfast
Meds
Brush Teeth

Stuff that's normal everyday basic but I also like being able to go  "Let's go to a movie."  when I have free time or be able to see that "YES! I do have time to write on my manuscript."

I know this second post is rambely and long long long over due...but here it is.

Oh, on a side note:  I've found I'm much more focused when I have one solid thing to work around.  Like work or school.

A 20-something with Type 2

 

 

I have been Type 2 Diabetic for almost 2 years now. And I am still very very slowly coming to grips with everything.  That this isn’t going away right off. That I have changes I need to make.

 

I understand all this, yet I have no desire to do any of it at all. I still feel as if I’ve done something wrong in order to be this way.  I feel…broken.  I feel as if I can’t do anything but have this disease dictate various aspects of my life.

I feel as if 20-somethings with diabetes are misrepresented to an extent. That unless they are Type 1. They get no help. Everything helpful is for people much older.  Doctors are use to tending patients that are older. All of this I understand as well, but, I still feel there is a lack that understand being at the “beginning” of our lives.

I want my education, I want a job with which I can support myself. I want to at least have the option of having babies. I know all of these are still obtainable but it just feels as if I should be able to manage everything seamlessly.

Well, I have trouble…horrible trouble keeping track of when to take things and when to eat.  Both get skipped far more often then they should.

I’m just at a loss on what to do. I feel as if my voice is unheard.  I either have to be a child or a grandparent to get any form of help. It seems.